How to Know If You Are Ready to Have Children

• Spread metal cars all over the hardwood floor.  Turn out the lights and try to walk across the floor barefooted.  If you step on a car, you are not allowed to scream because you will wake the sleeping baby.
• Take four large Labrador retrievers with you to the grocery store as you shop.  Remember that you are responsible when they poop on the floor, tear stickers off the racks, chew through candy wrappers, and poke holes in meat packages (or in my case, take off every bag that is supposed to be used to carry the fruit and meats safely home).
• Rent a hyperactive chimpanzee from the local pet store.  Try to dress him in underwear, undershirt, pants, belt, button-down shirt, socks, and lace-up shoes.  Then try to get out of the house before he undresses himself.
• Ask your local vet if you can go with him next time he medicates a small calf.  Try to hold the calf still long enough to put the medicine in its mouth with a spoon--or (heaven forbid) insert a supoository in the opposite end.
• Program a talking alarm clock to scream in the middle of the night, every hour on the hour, "I am crying for no apparent reason except because I can!"  This applies even when you have not had a full night's rest for over six months.
• Have a friend call you every time you and your spouse start to go out for dinner, declaring that you can't go because "the baby is sick."  Make sure your friend waits until you both are ready and the babysitter is ringing the front doorbell.
• Smear mashed potatoes on your new suit just before you walk out the door to attend a very important meeting.

If you can handle all these challenges and more, you are ready to have a baby.

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I got these off of a poster that I saw and thought it was pretty funny.  However, I'm curious.  What would you add to it?

Perhaps it would be if you like to have company every time you go to the bathroom, no matter what the purpose, then you are ready to have a baby.  Or...in honor of this morning, get all of your bags together, pick up your dog (or other live animal) to go to the vet, only to find that under them is a mess of poop and now it's all over your clothes, the dog, and you're now running late.  You must quickly dump the dog in the shower, all the while it's whining and crying, and then change your clothes and still make it to your destination on time.  Yup, this somehow happens to me quite a bit with Baby M!  I had forgotten how many clothes we tend to go through.  I must have blocked that from my memory after B grew out of that stage.

So go ahead, tell me your favorites!