Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I'm sure you've noticed my absence on this blog for the past few weeks.  What have I been doing instead of informing you of the happenings in our lives?  Well, pneumonia and the flu have been visiting our house in the midst of house showings.  Talk about feeling like I couldn't possibly handle anything else.  However, God got me through it with my sanity intact and hopefully all are on the mend.

To start off, last Monday my mom came to visit since she had the day off of school.  I had planned to do something fun with the kids, but it seems like they are always sick when she comes.  I'm incredibly thankful she came that day because Baby M was really sick and I just felt like I needed to take her to the doctor.  She had the same cough that B did when he had walking pneumonia last year.  Daddy T has learned not to second guess me when it comes to the kids and sickness because I'm usually right.  Mom's intuition, I'm told.  I told him Monday morning that I was concerned about her and that I was taking her because I thought it was turning into pneumonia.  I was correct.  Her blood count was high so we she got a shot on Monday (a heavy duty shot) and Tuesday and started her antibiotics on Wednesday of last week.  The chest x-ray showed that it had gone into her right lung but I had caught it early enough that we escaped a hospital visit, thank goodness!

On Thursday, it was such a beautiful day and we needed out of the house.  Since Baby M was on the mend, I figured we'd go with a friend to the park to enjoy the 70 degree weather that has been visiting us over the past few weeks.  I missed the fact that the pollen count was really high, so both kids starting showing their asthma symptoms with the wheezing and coughs and noses.  So the yellow bear became our best friend over the past two weeks with breathing treatments.  Even Baby M's baby dolls received their treatments and naps.

Then this past Monday afternoon, B started running a low grade fever and coughing a lot.  Coughing, as in literally every couple of seconds.  I gave him a treatment hoping it would help, but it only helped a little bit.  We went through the night like that but his fever starting spiking.  So B had a visit to the doctor yesterday because he looked like a basset hound with those droopy eyes, watery eyes constantly, and coughing.  He was incredibly lethargic and just would stare at you.  The doctor was concerned about him because every test he took was negative but he said that he's almost certain he had the onset of the flu, which I wouldn't doubt because I never got him the flu shot.  Since B hadn't slept in a couple of days, the doctor gave him some strong meds that let him sleep but also helped him feel a lot better.  He woke up this morning a new kid.  I think we caught that early enough, as well, which I'm very thankful for.

Now with both kids on the mend, we're gearing up for an eventful next 2 months.  We've had wonderful news on our house and an answer to prayer, but I'm not quite ready to reveal the decisions made just yet.  But I'm so very thankful to know that God revealed His plan to me concerning our house in the SAME EXACT way in which He answered my prayer.  It was incredible and definitely NOT a coincidence.  I'm so thankful that we serve an Sovereign God who has a much better plan for us than we could ever have for ourselves.

I promise it won't take me quite as long to update next.  Perhaps the next will be filled with pictures....

The day I had

So Baby M has run a low-grade fever for the past 2 days.  B has picked up the habit of whining since I think he hasn't gotten as much attention since Baby M needs a bit more at this moment.  With that said, I thought that I was about to lose my mind today!  Daddy T came home and rescued me quickly so that I could have a few minutes of quiet. 

Today was the day that neither child could play with each other or by themselves.  This means that they had to follow me around all day.  The whining got so bad by dinner that I stuck Baby M in the crib (which she thoroughly hates), put B in his room, and turned up my music so incredibly loud that I couldn't hear any crying or talking.  I then preceded to cry because I felt so bad for letting Baby M cry but I was at the end.  I felt like I had nothing like to give.  I needed to be recharged.  I cried.  I prayed.  A miracle didn't happen, but at the end of the night when we were praying in bed, B leaned over and said "Mommy, I'm sorry for disobeying so much.  I love you."  At least my night ended well and I can finally hear my thoughts that are roaming around in my head.  The problem is that I'm too tired to process what my thoughts are!  I just know that I am now sitting and enjoying this moment.

Encouragement for Mothers

If I could share one book with you that has been of the most encouragement to me, this book would be it.  Rachel is so real and honest and creative and is the most encouraging woman that I've read lately.  Most of the mothering books frustrate me because it's all about "me time" and really focuses on how I can change my kids.  But you know what?  It's not about me changing my kids.  I mean, yes, my kids do need to change, but in the words of Michael Jackson, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror." 

In order for my kids to change, my attitude towards my kids have to change.  The way I look at the things that my kids do has to change.  For example, chaos seems to surround me when I need to be out the door.  One kid will need his shoes one.  The other will lose their shoes.  Then the first child will drop their water and make a mess.  Then the second child will have a dirty diaper.  It seems like the cycle continues.  All of this builds up until I feel like I'm loosing my mind and I explode.  Rachel shares that if you break it down, it's really not overwhelming when you think about what child individually needs.  So she sets the timer for 20 minutes and knows that in 20 minutes that this chaos will end.  I love it!  This has been the best thing for me.  Making sure that I'm focusing on my heart and my attitude has made a huge difference. 

Attitude is a heart issue.  I want my children to have a heart to obey and a heart to do things willingly and with the right attitude; not whining or complaining.  How can I make sure that my kids have the right attitude about doing things when my attitude towards them can be described as less than stellar at times?  My prayer is that their hearts are turned to God and that they will always restore the fellowship with others when it's broken.  In my mothering, my goal is to address their heart.  So to do that, I need to start with my own heart....and that's not easy.

Motherhood and Work

1--The Vocation of Motherhood from Canon Wired on Vimeo.

Great article on motherhood!

I read a wonderful article on mothering and Christmas on John Piper's blog, www.desiringgod.org. It is written by Rachel Jankovic who writes one of my favorite books, Learning to Love the Little Years.

If you know me, you know how imperfect I am and how I do not desire to pretend to be someone that I am not. When you read my blog, I hope that you see my imperfections and my flaws, but I also hope that you see my heart. I am human after all! I desire to be what God has called me to be and strive every day to live a life that reflects the glory of Christ. That means I strive to reflect Christ in even my parenting. However, there are many days where I lose my cool and have to bend down and ask forgiveness from my kids and my husband. With that said, I hope that I'm not one of those bloggers who appear to have the perfect family where everything goes perfectly and where I make my readers feel like they just haven't gotten the hang of this thing called motherhood. If I've done that, then I'm incredibly sorry! I'm still learning and figuring it out and making mistakes and probably always will. I'm learning how to be more flexible and not so hard on myself and to let go of that thing we call "mommy guilt" that is often used to make us feel like everyone else has it more together than we do. In fact, the one I struggled with was the feeling that several people I know seem to have their house spotless, watch their kids, have dinner on the table by a certain time, sew, read, blog, and homeschool (along with all that each of those entails), and play with their children. I'm so thankful for my mentor because she pointed out that that's probably what certain people want us to view them as and behind the scenes, they are probably just as frazzled. But letting go of what you think you should be and your idea of what motherhood was supposed to be can be hard, especially when there's not really an immediate reward or acknowledgement from it.

Anyway, read this article if you get a chance. It's very encouraging! Check out her book, too. The article is Of Kids and Christmas.

Our Delightful Girl

Baby M smiles a lot....really unless she's tired, hungry, or doesn't know you.  She is laid back (minus the tantrums she has learned to throw from her big brother) and is growing so much daily.  Where did my tiny baby go?!  She signs about 5-6 signs to us, which is a lot better than her screaming.  Her and B tend to get in squabbles more and more and I find that I spend more of my time breaking that up or disciplining or teaching B better ways to handle getting mad.  Yes...we rehearse scenarios and statements and we've had long talks about selfishness and our sin.  I want both of our kids to be selfless and am excited about some ministry ideas we are going to do.  I want them to learn early on to serve and I think they can learn that at an early age.  I love Charlotte Mason's approach to character qualities/habits and young children.  I'm striving to find all the teachable moments that I can, even though I know that I'm sure I'll miss plenty.

I'm so thankful for this little joy in our lives and for the playtime that we get to spend together.  I'm incredibly thankful to be there to watch her grow up most of the day....even if there are days where I think I'd rather work full time so I can get away from home and the whining! 

This was the best $3 I have ever spent on a toy!  Baby M plays with this for at least 10 minutes every day.  It beeps and turns and opens, which are all pluses for babies.  Did I say it was only $3 at a consignment sale?  So ready for another consignment sale.  They're the best!

What I learned on the farm

I blogged about our camping trip, but I didn't blog about what I did after the camping trip.  The kids and I went to the farm and stayed with my parents.  It was nice and relaxing and I had fun playing with the kids and running with them and playing ball with them.  Those are all things that I suddenly become too busy to do when I come home, although I have changed that as much as I can over the past 2 weeks.

You see, my dad is the most patient person I know.  Let me clarify: yes, he can be pushed over the edge, but when he knows in your heart that you want to do something, he supports you and tries to help you learn or understand.  Case in point: On Friday night, Pop told B that they were going to have to eat a big breakfast the next morning because they were going to be going to do some hard work the next day.  The water trough had a leak in it so Pop was going to take B with him to fix it.  Pop easily could have had us watch B until he was done (which I would have done because it would have been much faster).  However, he let B tag along, which B loved, and Pop showed him what he was doing and talked about it.  Pop was so patient with B and when I went out to check on them and to bring B his brown bag lunch (which he was delighted with), I could tell he was having a blast.  He thought he was so big. 

Just watching Pop interact with B in this way reminded me that sometimes (and probably MOST of the time) it is so important that B works WITH me even if it does take a whole day to do things.  I know they say that you enjoy your grandchildren more because you've learned by then what is truly important.  However, I don't want to enjoy my grandchildren more.  I want to enjoy my own children right now.  I'm so thankful for a godly father who demonstrates godly characteristics to me.  He knew I was watching when I was little, but I don't know if he realizes that I'm still watching him today and learning from him.  Thank you Pop for your example in my life and in the lives of your grandchildren.

Side note: we completed this day with a ride on the trailer to check on the cows and to go see the horse and mule.  Baby M and B took turns riding with Pop on the big tractor while Mama and I rode in the trailer with whichever child wasn't driving.  It's really difficult to say which of the kids love the farm more!

Consistency

Growing up, I remember hearing parents, moms especially, say that they were just tired.  It had been a long day for them and all they did was listen to their children whine or break up arguments or deal out consequences.  I honestly remember thinking that didn't sound that bad.  I mean, how could whining or disciplining so much turn your day into a bad day.

Now that I'm a mom, I understand.  That's one of those things that you'll never know until you experience it.  And now I know why it's so tiring.  It goes back to consistency.  It's hard and tiring to be consistent.  It's hard and tiring to follow through with what you said would happen.  It's hard and tiring to always give and not hear a "thank you" very often.  It's hard and tiring when you are trying to lay aside yourself and focus on someone else when you're exhausted from never sitting down all day.  It's hard and tiring when you are constantly breaking up arguments with toys, etc.  Despite knowing how important it is for me to be consistent in my disciplining, it's hard.  There are days when Daddy T walks in the house and I say "they're all yours.  I can't deal with it anymore."  I honestly feel like my head has taken so much stimulation in that it can't take in anything else. 

I can tell the days where I'm consistent and the days I'm not because B's behavior is so much better when I'm hard on him and keep him in line from the get go.  We always have fun on those days because he knows that he can test me but won't get away with it.  He also knows that by the end of the day, I'm exhausted and he tests me more then because he does know he can get away with more at that point.  I've been working hard at focusing more on this issue the past week and for the most part, we've had a great week.  There's been peace at the house because he knows that I only give my instructions once and I know he can obey the first time.  He's smart and doesn't need me to remind him.  He proved my point on Tuesday when I told him that we needed to clean his room.  I was cleaning the living room and I called back to him to make sure he was obeying.  He told me he wasn't cleaning, so I went back there to discipline him.  However, as soon as I walked in I noticed the clean floor.  He had obeyed and put EVERYTHING where it should be.  I didn't have to discipline him, although we did have a talk about lying.  That's the other issue that's come up lately.  (He doesn't understand the word, yet, so that makes it a little difficult.)

So for you moms like me that are tired and need a little encouragement, do know that consistency pays off.  At least that's what my dad says!  (As he looks at me and says, "I remember.  Been there done that."  Then he tries to tell me how I acted that way.  I never believe him about his examples.  I know I never acted that bad.....)

A True Girl

It's weird how different boys and girls are from birth.  I know there are some exceptions, but B knew how to make car sounds without me ever thinking to utter it to him.  He would just pick up a car and make it zoom.  I was amazed.  (I still say their lack of focusing on more than one thing comes at birth, too.  Come to think of it, I wonder if they have a nothing box at that age, too.  You know...when you ask your husband what he's thinking and he says "nothing."  Seriously?!  How can you NOT be thinking about anything?)  I digress.

Baby M has come ingrained with some natural girl behaviors as well, such as talking on the phone, wanting a purse (or a bag, really, anything with a handle will suffice), and taking care of her babies with hugs and kisses.  Its so funny to watch the difference.  My dad always says that she's such a girl.  Loves the tractor, but hates the vacuum cleaner.  How does that work?  I mean, the tractor is MUCH louder than the vacuum cleaner.

So what about you?  Have you noticed anything that boys and girls seem to come with from birth that are characteristics of what you think of when you think of their gender?

Etched in my memory

I'll tell you a secret.  I love to watch my kiddos while they are sleeping.  I think that's the favorite part of my nighttime routine, even though it's not because of the reason you'd think.  Not because I'm thrilled it's the end of the day and I can finally crash.  Not because it's been a rough day and now I have time to myself (although that has been a fleeting thought once or twice).  Not because it means I don't have to discipline anymore.  So the reason?  The reason is because when I stare at their sweet sleeping faces, I still see my little babies.  Their faces look like their baby pictures of when they were sleeping.  I'm reminded of how they looked when they were held in my arms BEFORE their feet started to hang off my lap!  I'm reminded of the time when I rocked them, thinking they could do no wrong and I'd never even think of raising my voice with them.  Why, of course, they were perfect!  (I knew they weren't, but at night, they seem like they are.)  Tell me I'm not alone in this nightly ritual.  I mean, those sleeping babies are absolutely precious.  It reminds me of the opportunities I missed during the day to spend time with both of them or moments that I selfishly kept to myself instead of setting my tasks aside.  I love those subtle reminders given to me.

Oh...and did I forget to mention that B is now 3?!!!  That post is for another day, along with pictures.  He had the best day and we loved it because he was so excited about his special day.  I love it now that he asks to spend his special day with certain people.  And...I think he invited his ENTIRE Sunday School class to his birthday party.  I don't even have a clue who all is in there, so it's a good thing that most of them won't remember yet! 

Potty Training Boot Camp

We are working through a new milestone in our household.  B is going through potty training boot camp.  He's been peeing in the toilet when we tell him to go, but I felt like he needed to start initiating it on his own.  He was always too scared to poop on the toilet, so thus the reason for potty training boot camp.  After reading and researching a bit, we've been using the half-naked approach.  The theory behind it is that he will not like the feel of it coming out on his legs so he'll use the toilet.  So far, so good.  Not one accident since yesterday and he's going when he feels the need to go.  We are quite proud of him, if you can imagine.  We're actually more excited about getting to stop changing diapers/pull-ups/undies less often.  We've gotten lots of prizes and at the end of the week he will get a pool if he manages to go all week without an accident.  He'll do anything for a good swim!

Fireman B

A friend of ours is a fireman for the city and offered for us to come to his station and tour the fire truck and drive it out into the parking lot.  We took Mr. Fireman up on his offer and headed over there one morning.  B was scared!  I think it was because it was so big and tall and honestly, it was much bigger than I remembered.  He wouldn't let me go, which is odd for him, because he is so independent.  At one point, Mr. Fireman asked B if he'd like to drive it.  I knew B would regret not doing it so I told Mr. Fireman to just take him and he'd be fine.  He cried the whole time but when we got in the car, he kept talking about how he drove the fire truck.  (Just like he "sat" on Santa's lap, if you remember that whole picture!)

Mr. Fireman gave B a sticker badge and a hat, which he still plays with.  Every time he sees a fire truck, he asks if we can go see Mr. Fireman and ride in his truck again.  Next time, we're taking Mr. Fireman's wife because B just loves Mrs. Amb!  He won't be so scared if she's there, I'm sure.

Fireman B is "riding the range" with firehorse princess.

Sometimes pictures say more...

I like to write about my days so that I will never forget them and so my kids can look back on my reflections and see why I have so many gray hairs but also why I tear up when the house is all quiet when they have moved on with their own lives as adults.

Since my kiddos have arrived on the scene, my house is rarely quiet.  In fact, sometimes I dream of kicking everyone out for a few hours so I have some quiet time.  However, when that does happen, it's too quiet.  I'm used to the constant noise and activity.  Not to say that it doesn't tire me out or frustrate me, but it's normal to me.  That's also why I can ignore my child when he's whining and the baby's crying while I'm trying to get dinner done.  That's also why I don't hear the dogs whining and barking at times.  I simply tune them out and go to my own happy place where it's quiet!

A few weeks ago we enjoyed some time outside after church.  Baby M is now the driver of the red car that B used to like so much.  So...the story?  I've displayed the story in pictures.  This is my typical day, except think of it through my eyes and consider how many times I must correct B and what actions have to be tamed indoors.  Then throw in Sissy and see if you can guess how many things I had to correct during these pictures!  And this is just an hour....

That morning....

B climbed on top of the red car for a ride on the roof...

My Little Bandit

I'll recap my morning a few weeks ago.  It was awful.  And that's saying it nicely!  B was in one of his moods which automatically sent me into overdrive because we were in public.  Let's just say that his bad mood and public don't mix very well! 

I was headed to Kindermusik one morning and we stopped to pick up ONE thing.  I explained to him before we went in that I expected good behavior from him and for him to obey.  He repeated the rules back to me and I naively thought all was well.  We entered the store and I had him carry the ONE thing I needed so that something would be in his hands so he couldn't touch everything around him.  So far so good.  We get to the cash register and that's where this plan falls apart.  A nice lady (who is also a mother of a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old, but whose kids were not with her) let me in front of her to check out.  I thanked her for her consideration and willingness to send me on my way.  B nicely places the item on the counter but then looks down and sees this large display of candy.  I see his eyes light up and he grabs a few of each thing to place on the counter.  I tell him no and he says "but I neeeed this."  That's when I realize he's unwrapped the bubblegum.  Great.  Now I had to buy it, but at least it's the kind Daddy T likes.  I tell him to put it all back and not to touch anything. 

After checking out, I take his hand to make him follow me to the car.  I was about to place him in the car when I looked in his hand and saw a lollipop.  My little boy STOLE a lollipop!  I marched him back inside and told him to place it on the counter and to tell the lady that he was sorry.  He did it willingly and very quickly.  The lady at the counter was nice and said that was okay.  I apologized, too, since I didn't see it when we walked out.  By the way, what kind of person designed the candy to go right in front at only a child's level?!  I'm convinced they get great satisfaction at seeing a mother fight with their child EACH AND EVERY TIME they step foot in their store.  It was probably a man!

Anyway, I told the grandparents how my day was because I knew they'd laugh which would lessen my anger.  My mother told my father, who then confesses that he got in trouble with his mom for stealing when he was little.  He tore off potato spuds to plant potatoes.  Nanny made him go back in and hand it back to the produce man who wasn't quite for sure what to do with those spuds since they're only good for growing potatoes.  I'll blame this incident on Dad's side of the family!

B's enemy

B has his first and only enemy so far.  Any clue what it is? 

I'll give you a hint.

Here's a picture:

That's correct.  B's enemy is a garbage truck.  The next logical question you might ask is "why?"  Oh my!  Here's the story.

A few months ago, we decided that the paci had to go.  We told him that he could use it, but only when it was bed time and he was in his bed.  I informed him that if I saw it out of his room at any other time, I would take it away.  He never showed me his beloved paci!

One day, he had it out in the living room and I was feeling generous and thought I'd remind him of the rule.  I simply said, "B, go put the paci back in your bed or throw it in the trash."  This is where B's love of trash came in handy.  B said, "I throw in trash, Mommy."  I tried to explain to him that once he threw it in the trash, it would be gone and he'd never see it again.  He assured me that was okay and he was going to throw it in the trash. 

Well, to this day, EVERY (and I do mean EVERY) time we pass a garbage truck or a trashcan, he says, "I throw paci away" and points.  I always say, "yes, you did, and we're proud of you."  One day, he was in one of his moods and said "Bad trash man."  I asked him why he said that and he said "because he take my paci away."  I told him that he had thrown it in the trash and the trash man was just doing his job.  He didn't know that a paci was in there.  That reasoning fell on deaf ears as he kept saying "bad trash man.  No touch."  And so we still hear to this day those same words.

Since then, we have gotten rid of all of his pacis.  He will occasionally take Baby M's paci for a quick suck and then shove it back in her mouth.  However, he's done really well with it and hasn't asked for it back.  Well, except for when he found one that he had hidden.  I quickly took it from his hands because I wasn't about to restart that weaning process again!

I'll admit that it was hard at first to get rid of them because it was admitting that he wasn't a baby anymore and he was growing up.  It was also something that combined with his blanket "blue" would calm him down when he was throwing a fit or in one of his moods.  If he was getting wild, I could simply hand him the combo and he'd sit or lay down.  "Blue" still does the job, but not as fast as they both did combined.  That's okay.  I'm stepping out of denial that my baby boy isn't quite my baby anymore.  Not for sure how that happened....

Lessons Learned in a Night

I learned  a lot of lessons last night.  I'll share just a few.

1. Be specific.  Remember my post yesterday where I shared that we were just waiting for an ear infection and I was kinda hoping it would come so that Baby M could start to feel better on antibiotic?  Well, I should have been more specific as to the time frame.  Next time, I will include it to be between the hours of 9-1am where one of our doctor offices would be open and could give a prescription.  Instead Baby M waited until 1am to wake up screaming and crying and then continue to do so ALL night long.  Daddy T and I took shifts because her ear was hurting so bad.  I longed for some meds for her.
2. Babies that can't voice their cry is sad.  Baby M has felt so bad that she has lost her voice.  Daddy T thought he'd like it because she couldn't reach her shrill high pitch scream.  Now that it's gone, he feels bad for her.  (His ears like it, though.)  She has that tiny newborn kind of cry again. 
3. Olive oil is amazing.  I had to call the doctor this morning to see if there was ANYTHING that might stifle Baby M's cry and make her feel ANY better.  We had been alternating the Motrin and Tylenol, but it wasn't cutting  the pain.  We elevated her, let her sleep on us in the recliner, put her in the swing, pretty much nothing worked.  Thankfully, the most wonderful nurse on call told us to get a dropper and put a few drops of olive oil in her ear.  Bam.  It worked.  She slept for 2 hours on Daddy T from 5-7 this morning.  It apparently helps soothe and protect the outer ear, which has become painful from the lack of wax to protect it.  Never knew but now I do and I'm sharing it with anyone else who frequents ear infections a lot.  I should say that you CAN'T use if if they have tubes or drainage out their ear. 
4. 2 sick babies at one time is not fun.  At first, I was glad that at least we could get it over with at once.  However, it's hard to give each one the proper cuddle time that they are seeking without one feeling left out.  We've had lots of couch-time where B can sit or lay in my lap while Baby M lays on my chest or shares my knee.  Making memories....

Now that the drops are in Baby M's ear, she's sound asleep.  Not even B yelling will wake her up, which is good.  Poor baby needs to sleep.  Hopefully by tonight or tomorrow morning the meds will start kicking in and we'll be doing good.  We're still continuing the breathing treatments for both though thanks to all of the coughing, but we're not having to do them quite as often.  B is becoming much more of himself thanks to his meds.  We just have a really bad diaper rash to deal with because he can't control his bottom and that's okay.  He apologizes every time he goes to the bathroom in his diaper.  I keep assuring him that it's okay because the medicine is going to make him not know when he needs to go in time.  Needless to say, potty training is on hold for this week.  He was doing much better, too.  Hope this doesn't mess it up!

Say it Ain't So

Sorry for the lack of updates yesterday.  I didn't have enough hands to hold my two babes and type.  Imagine that!  The status is as follows:

B has an ear infection and that yucky upper respiratory infection going around, which has triggered what?  His asthma.  He is starting to come back to life today, which is good. 

Baby M has the infection and is following the same course.  The doctor said she'll probably start running the fever in 48 hours (which will be tomorrow).  In some ways I'm hoping he's right and in another I'm hoping he's wrong.  Wrong because I don't want to go back again, but right because then she would be able to be on antibiotics that would clear her chest and then I could stop giving her....guess what....yeah....breathing treatments.  Apparently she's also on the asthma track, too.  I'm really thinking hibernation will be great for the winter months.  At least the nebby bear is becoming our friend and I don't have to hold either of them down to administer anymore.  Baby M just gets restless after and B, well, read the other posts! 

So, we're just here cuddling and waiting for an ear infection in Baby M....that sounds completely awful.....

Oh...and the poor baby has lost her voice and sounds pitiful crying.  On the upside, her and B have become great cuddle buddies because they get to sleep together for naps.  B even shares his blanket and has become quite protective over her.  He wants to take care of her (with his eyes closed) and doesn't want me to interfere.  So sweet!  I'll post pictures when I get enough hands and time to do that as well.