Happy Birthday, Avery!

This time last year, (yesterday, to be exact) a sweet friend said both hello and goodbye to her baby girl.  It was completely unexpected.  She was set to deliver, but before she went into labor, she felt Avery not moving like she normally did.  After realizing something was wrong when she hadn't felt her move in a little while, they went to the hospital where it was realized that their baby girl would not be coming home with them. 

How do you say both hello and goodbye to a part of you?  I'm not sure, to be honest.  Many of my friends have lost a child or a baby and I don't even know if they know how you can say goodbye.  We had a miscarriage early on with our first pregnancy and I still think about what that baby would have been like.  They are such a part of you that I think (or at least I've heard from many who have gone through this) that a part of you is gone as well.  Part of you longs to be with them.

If you'll remember, she went through this 3 days before I went into labor.  Then after I had Baby M, I felt guilty and sad.  When I first looked at her, all I could do was cry because this is what Fireman B and Mrs. A should be experiencing with their firstborn child.  It wasn't supposed to end like that for them. 

Over this past year, not a day goes by when I don't look at Baby M and think of them.  I pray for them constantly for God to bless them with more babies.  (You can pray for that, too!)  I pray for comfort and peace and for God's grace to rain down on them.  They are such an encouragment to us and I'm so thankful God has brought them into our lives.  I doubt that there will ever be a day when I don't look at Baby M and think of Avery and her sweet family.

Happy 1st birthday, Avery. You are such a beautiful little girl.  I know your family loves and misses you so very much, but you are being held in the presence of Jesus.  We miss you and will see you one day very soon.