Is it really Christmas?

Okay, so I'll be the first to admit that I'm not really feeling all Christmas-like, yet. I'm not for sure if it's the warmer than usual weather, the fact that I'm still adjusting to the busyness of a newborn, or if I have outdone myself (which I don't think I have). We haven't been as busy as normal during this month, but I just never did quite get prepared for Christmas like I had wanted. My decorations were up, but I always forgot to turn on the lights until bedtime...which has come earlier than normal! Oh well. I did have some time to ponder yesterday as I was rocking Blake at night. I began to cry as I thought of how much I love Blake. It sounds odd, but I love him so much that it makes my heart ache to think of him leaving me or vice versa. Even growing up is kinda sad, but necessary. I can't imagine how much God's heart ached as He sent Jesus to us, knowing how we would treat Him...knowing how so many would reject His Son. Not only that, knowing that they would kill Him in the most cruel way. I could never give Blake up like that, I don't think. I can't imagine losing him. And then I began to think about how much God's heart hurts when I don't spend time with Him or study His Word. When I stray from Him and do my own thing, I'm hurting Him. Christmas has taken on a different meaning for me since I've had Blake. It's not as exciting to get presents (I still like them, don't get me wrong), but for the first time I can relate to Mary (as far as having a child). I can't imagine having Jesus, the perfect Son (although it's a nice thought!). However, I can relate to how much she loved Him, would have done anything for Him, and when He got sick how her heart ached for Him. When her and Joseph lost Him while He was teaching, I bet her heart ached then, too. And when He was put on the cross, I bet the pain was almost unbearable. So, yes, Christmas means so much more now that I am looking at it through the eyes of a mother. People were right....you'll never know what it's like to love someone as a mother loves her children.

Speaking of children, Blake has grown so much since Thanksgiving. He is sitting up more, especially with the help of the Bumbo. He is also rolling over (front to back and some back to front). He still hates his tummy time, but his neck is being strenghtened because of it. He got a bouncer for Christmas from Raun and I and he loves it. He can't sit in it for too long because he still doesn't have all the support, but he's working on it. It at least buys me some time. He is babbling a lot and loves to squeal and laugh and talk while I read books to him. I think I might talk to him a bit too much because he kind of likes to talk! Between me and Julie (his babysitter on Mondays), he's bound to talk a lot! Julie's son, Eli, is now beginning to crawl so we're interested to see if Blake learns things faster since he is with Eli every week. Not that I am wishing for the mobile stage. I'm quite content with him staying where I put him!

I'm working on being consistent with nap times. That is the place where I struggle the most, which sounds odd. I'm just not always home at the same time, so he doesn't always go down at set times. This week has been better (minus today) and he has been so pleasant. I'm afraid that he might be a nightmare at tonight's Christmas Eve service, but we'll see! Since I'm off next week, I'm hoping to be able to keep up the schedule as best as I can. He has increased his nighttime sleep from around 9:00 or 9:30 p.m. to 7:30 a.m. It's so much nicer because I can deal with him since he's sleeping so well. He's always been a good sleeper, but I require so much sleep to function, so 7 hours never seemed like a lot to me! Julie and I always feel bad talking about how much our boys sleep because it is so much longer than those babies that aren't on a schedule, but it is so nice to hit the 10 hour mark or longer! I could never function if he woke me up every night for a year or more. My tummy would be hating me!

We have started Blake on rice cereal, but only at night. I'm going to keep him on this until he's 6 months old, and then I'll bring in the baby foods (which I plan to make). It was so funny to watch him eat his cereal the first time. It was everywhere and he just wanted to suck it off the spoon since he didn't know how to make the chewing motion. However, he is learning quickly. He still loves nursing afterwards. He gets so excited to nurse after eating...I think it's because he knows what he is doing there! Nursing is going good. I'm still making lots of milk and pumping to add the milk into his cereal. I don't want him to have anything but breast milk if I can help it. So I am stocking up on milk supply.

I think that's about all that has happened so far. My brain feels like it has been in a foggy haze, so I'm not so sure of what all has happened this month! I am taking tennis lessons from missionaries to Brazil. A friend of mine in our Sunday School class and me are taking them together. It's so much fun. Blake comes and sits in his stroller and I am learning so much. I've always wanted to learn tennis, so it doesn't feel like exercise to me.

That's it for now. I'll post more after Christmas! Merry Christmas everyone!

4 month doctor's appointment

I have been meaning to update this all week, but just never got a chance to sit down and do it. I was going to post pictures along with this post, but that will come sometime this week when I find some time! Blake is keeping us busy now that he is beginning to teeth. He's been fussier than usual and wants to be with us constantly. He got his 4-month shots on Thursday and all was well. The doctor was very pleased with his growth and weight and said he was perfect. He is now 24 1/2 inches long and weighs 14 pounds 6 ounces. I couldn't believe he weighed that much! The first time we were there he was 5 pounds and now he's 14...no wonder he feels so much heavier! I will admit that my arms are becoming quite defined, though:)

Our choir and orchestra performed our Christmas cantata last night and we do one more performance at a different church tonight. It was really, really good. I love playing my bassoon for it, but I do wish that I had some more time to play more often and for more groups. It's just so relaxing! Blake is definitely the musical baby. Any type of music soothes him, especially his mommy's voice. He LOVES "Wheels on the Bus" complete with the actions. He just grins and laughs! I love watching his little face break out into the most beautiful grin. He is quite adorable, if I must say so myself. Not that I'm partial or anything.

I've been struggling with trying to get things done. However, I'm learning that it's okay that nothing gets done at the moment. It's just really hard for me to accept because I'm so used to having time to clean the house, read, work, etc. Now I do good to get a shower and wash my hair and exercise! You can pray that I will have patience and won't get frustrated when I don't complete my to-do list.

I'll post some pictures sometime this week. I just ran out of time at the moment!

Thanksgiving 2008

Make a Smilebox slideshow

So for our Thanksgiving, we traveled to Florida to be with my grandparents. And by "we," I mean our ENTIRE family traveled and all arrived at different times throughout Tuesday and Wednesday. I had a wonderful time seeing everyone and introducing them to Blake. It was the first time that many of them had gotten to meet him. As well as cooking and planning for Thanksgiving, we had to plan and decorate for a 50th anniversary party for my grandparents that was on Friday night. So we were kept pretty busy.



We had Thanksgiving at the church since it was big enough to house our entire family and so we could begin decorating right afterwards. Ashley, Amber, and I decided that we enjoyed the HUGE kitchen (since it was a school kitchen) and should have one of those every year. We cooked with the largest pots that we've ever cooked with on Thanksgiving. And I can't even begin to describe how big the potato masher was! It was HUGE! Ashley and I were in charge of cooking desserts. I made an apple pie and a timarsu bowl and Ashley made pumpkin pie with homemade whip cream. It was incredible. While we were all cooking, the guys were entertaining themselves with the Wii. And I'll just say that the kids had a blast because they got to play with it showing on the projector...every kid's dream!



The party was great on Friday night and the decorations were beautiful, thanks largely to Aunt Janet and her decorating skills. I made a slide show that followed along the same lines as the scrapbook I had made documenting the growing family from their marriage to Ashley's baby. It was pretty neat to see how it all progressed through the years. Two sad parts...Shannon wasn't here and I know it seemed like yesterday when they were first married. Time goes by too fast.



We all left to head home on Saturday, knowing that we'll be seeing each other again in March for my brother's wedding. And there will be another little one for us to meet!

A Day in Dollywood

Since we've done so much over the past two weeks, I decided that I would break up the posts to go along with the pictures so as to not cause any confusion. We went to Dollywood the last weekend the third weekend in November with some friends of ours, Mike and Lori Weathers and their baby boy E.B. Since we both live so far in opposite directions, we often tend to meet last minute as they go through on vacation or up in Knoxville, but this time it was in Dollywood. For about a year, they have been trying to convince us to get season passes so we could go to Festival of the Nations and see the Christmas lights with them. So this year, we did. I'm so glad because Blake LOVED the Christmas lights. Nothing can describe what the park looked like at night. I've never seen so many lights on buildings! It was beautiful and the shows were incredible. We saw the Babes in Toyland show, as well as some musical ones. Blake sat quietly through all of them and would often watch them until he got tired and fell asleep. And let me just say that they have the nicest nursing station that I have ever seen. It was soooo cold outside that day and I felt kind of guilty for going in to a heated room to rock and nurse Blake:) But not bad enough that I didn't do it! Blake rode the carousal with us. He looked around a lot and smiled. We had such a great time with Mike, Lori, and E.B. I'm glad that our boys will get to be with each other, even if it's only at Dollywood!

A year ago today...

What was I doing a year ago today? Saying goodbye to one of my best friends and a wonderful cousin. Shannon was only 17, but in those 17 years she taught me more about myself, compassion, and a love for life that only she could have taught. She taught me to see special needs children as real people, to not be afraid of medical equipment, to overcome any obstacle, and to strive to help as many people as I could. She taught me to expect more out of people, to love with a HUGE heart, to comfort people with simply a hug and fingers through the hair, as well as tears. She is a huge reason why I do what I do and why I am so passionate about music therapy and special needs. It's why I get upset when I see someone making fun of or taking advantage of a special needs person. It's why I get mad when I see people not wanting to push them just a little bit further when I know that they are capable of achieving things far beyond our imaginations. It's why I teach music lessons to children with autism, down syndrome, etc....because they can do it if you have just a little bit of patience and can adapt lessons to fit their individual skills. It's why I'm thrilled to see them join a choir and it's why I push so hard for music therapy in schools and why I'm willing to fight with the parents at the IEP meetings.

I miss Shannon so much. She would have loved Blake and I know that as he grows, he will know all about her. I wish that she was here to hold him and to talk to him. She would have been such a good babysitter because of her love for children. I think about her all the time and yes, I even talk to her. I know she may not hear, but it makes me feel like I'm having a conversation with her. I miss talking to her and in a way, Bethany reminds me of her. I'm glad that she's there for me to text to and to walk through her teenage years with.

This time last year I was experiencing such a terrible heartache, but yet a wonderful peace. Saying goodbye to her was by far the hardest thing I had done and if you would have asked me how I would make it through a year without her, I would be clueless. All I can say is that God has placed parts of her everywhere I look. Sometimes it makes me cry, sometimes it makes me laugh, and sometimes it makes me talk to the open air. Sometimes I have to talk to Aunt Patricia and Uncle Ray and sometimes I need to journal. However, I feel so blessed that she was such a huge part of my life and I feel so blessed to have been a part of her family. God used her greatly in those 17 years and you know what? He's using her life still! He's not done with her, yet, which gives me such great hope. I love you Aunt Patricia, Uncle Ray, Bethany, David, and Anna. God is using you and your loss in such a powerful way. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life and for giving me the opportunity to know Shannon they way you did. It means the world to me.

3 months old...no way!

Blake has passed the 3 month mark. He's actually 14 weeks, but I'm having trouble keeping up with the weeks now so I've resorted to months. Raun put him in his Bumbo yesterday and he sat up in it for a few minutes. I was very happy, but sad at the same time. Even Raun said it was a bit sad...but of course, he didn't cry:) I finally ordered pictures to fill my frames from the birth. Looking back was weird because I couldn't remember him looking like that or being so small. I wish there was a way to capture all of those moments and freeze them. Here's a picture of what he looked like as a newborn and then now at 3 months. It goes by too fast! I barely remember being pregnant and going through the labor and delivery. I can't imagine my life without him, though.

1 week

3 months

Raun went on his annual golf trip with the boys this past week, so Blake and I spent a few days with Mom and Dad. Blake did great with the time change. I stayed on Eastern Time, which helped and so he slept through the night every time, except for one night when he woke up a little stuffy. I woke up my mom to make sure I wasn't missing anything when it came to treating this cold and it turns out I was doing all I could do. It made me feel good to know that I knew what to do. At least at this moment in his life:) Blake and I both got sick while I was there. I was supposed to go shopping with Nessa on Saturday, but because I was sick I opted to stay home so Mom and Dad could watch Blake while I rested a bit. It was one of my only chances to get well, so I decided that would be best. Nessa was so understanding, but Ness...next time, we're going shopping!

We got a 5 generation picture while I was there. It didn't dawn on me until Raun was showing someone a picture of Mama (my great-grandma) and Blake and said that was 5 generations. That was when I decided I needed a 5 generation picture because how many people can say that their great-great-grandmother was alive and held them when they were born. I thought it was awfully special, so Mom invited them all over for dinner on Sunday.

Here's some pictures from the week.

Welcome, Mastitis!

Well...I have mastitis. I had been feeling a bit sore this week, and I had a feeling it was this, but I hoped it wasn't. I had a pap smear scheduled for today, so I figured I'd wait and ask the doctor. Well, last night I was freezing and shaking and Raun said I was hot...even though I felt really cold and then really hot. He said I had a fever and it was confirmed today when I was the only person wearing a t-shirt in this weather and I wasn't even cold! In fact, I was hot! Anyway, so Blake slept through the night, but poor Raun didn't because I had a migrane that felt like my head was about to explode and he had to take care of me. The doctor only had to take one look and confirmed my fears...an infection that was mastitis. She started me on some antibiotics for a week and said that it should start feeling a bit better in 2 days. Then the sad part: I wasn't supposed to see her again for a year. A whole year! She had been such an integral part of my life for the past 9 months and to go a year without seeing her? She said I wasn't the only person who had said that they would miss her:) She was just so wonderful to me and I feel very comfortable with her. There really is a bond between the OB-GYN and the mom once you deliver a baby. It's like going through that process draws you into a relationship! Anyway, enough about my doctor.

Blake is doing well. We're battling congestion with him. We've had to put out the humidifer, clean out his nose, and put in some nose saline for him. He is still smiling and giggling, so he doesn't feel too bad. It just sounds awful. He is much more alert and loves to look at people now. He is still sleeping though the night and last night we got almost 9 hours of sleep. I can get used to that! He giggles a lot more and is becoming more verbal. When you look at him and smile, he smiles back with this big grin, exposing that cute dimple of his that he got from his daddy.

I'll try to post some pictures tonight or tomorrow for all to see. Got to go teach some lessons now..and pick up my meds.

Happy Halloween!

Blake celebrated his first Halloween dressed as a penguin. However, you can't really go trick-or-treating as a newborn, so he got all dressed up for the Pumpkin Patch at our church. He looked so cute! Above are some pictures of him dressed in his outfit.

We spent the week before last at Raun's aunt's house for their Halloween party and to celebrate his his aunt's birthday. I got to eat my first chili of the season and it was good!

I went to Manchester last Saturday and got to spend most of the day with Jen and Nessa. We had such a good visit. It was really nice to see them, rub Jen's belly (because her little boy is in it, not because I'm weird), and to laugh a lot! We went to Tullahoma and painted pottery and I must say that our plates were pretty nice.

That was our week in a nutshell! Enjoy the pictures and I'll write more next week:)