Bad Mommy

It's finally happened.  I got called a bad mom by a lady in one of my Kindermusik classes the other day.  Actually, she said it in an email to me stating that I couldn't control my kids (since baby M cried the last 5-10 minutes) and B was having a 2-year-old-defiant day.  Needless to say,  she said a lot more, but I don't want to relive it by retyping it.  I spent that afternoon in tears because I felt like I had failed.  I mean, that's my main job and to hear another mom judge you based on the actions of your 2-year-old who is still learning manners is crazy!  However, her words stuck with me for the rest of the week.  So much so that I started to treat B not very nicely.  I just couldn't get her words out of my head.  Between Sunday School and church, friends, and Daddy T, God got my attention and showed me that I am not a bad mom.  A mom that is a work in progress, yes.  I am most certainly NOT a bad mom.  I love my kids dearly and discipline them, but I can't help the fact that my child decides to throw a tantrum in a spot that is in front of everyone OR in the middle of a class that is supposed to be fun.  Since then, he's been great, but the woman never came back.  She has a girl that is about 17 months old so she just doesn't get that boys are in fact different.  B is a lot rougher than he means to be.  We are working on being gentle, but he's still learning.  I wonder what she'll say when her child throws a tantrum in the middle of a class.

All of that to say that I used to judge other moms who had screaming babies.  Not anymore!  Now I simply look at the mom and feel bad for them, especially when I can see that they are trying to get their child under control.  However, thanks to people who think that spanking is downright abuse, you are limited in your immediate punishments that you can dish out.  One of my friends just told me that she had told her daughter that if she stood up in the cart again, then she would be spanked.  When her daughter thought about standing up, she simply reminded her of the punishment.  The mom said that a random lady walked up to her and asked her "Do we have a problem?"  It took my friend awhile to realize what she was talking about and then realized that the lady had followed her throughout the store ever since she had told her daughter that she would spank her for standing up.  She simply didn't want her child to fall out of the buggy or get hurt.  Likewise, I spank my child for doing his latest thing....running away from me and running through a parking lot.  Wait for another post and you will see why I spank for running away.  That does not make me a bad mommy.  That makes me a mom who cares how my child will turn out.  I'm not saying that spanking is for everyone, but please don't judge me on what my child does at the ripe age of 2 and certainly don't say I don't discipline, because we do.  We do it all...timeouts, quiet times, spanking, etc.  We try something until it works since not all of those work in every situation.  I'm trying here.  I think mom's who try deserve credit for caring instead of criticism that their child isn't what someone else thinks they should be.  There.  That's my soapbox for the day!