Easter Reflections

Have I told you lately how much I love our church? Don't get me wrong. Our church has just as many issues as the next church, I'm sure, but that's part of the church. A bunch of imperfect people who are willing and desiring to grow closer to God that meet together to worship our Christ. Are they hypocrites? You bet! Am I one of them? Sadly, I'm sure that I am in many ways. I don't like to think of myself as that way, but I firmly believe that every human is because of our predisposition to sin. That's why it's such a victory when we make the right decisions thanks to the Lord's help. It's also why Jesus encourages us to be with others. I know I need as much encouragement in my Christian walk as the next person. I need to know someone is praying for me just like others need to know the same. I love to hear the answered prayers from people that I have been praying so hard for. I'll share more of those in a later post! They are quite exciting!

Anyway, on Sunday, the choir sang a song called "Deep, Deep Love." It talked about how deeper than the nails, deeper than the scars, is God's love for us. It's a powerful acappella song and it's absolutely beautiful. As they were singing, I just couldn't get over the fact of how much God loved me. Hypocritical, sinful, selfish ME! And he doesn't just love me. He loves me deeply. I don't think that I ever realized many things until I had B and soon this new baby. I love B so much that at times, it hurts. It's an aching love when he chooses to do wrong. It's a powerful love when he does something great. It's a hurting love when he falls and hits his head. It's so much more, though, than that. I love him more than anything. I can't imagine life without him. I can't even imagine how parents who have lost their child go on except through God's grace and His power and His love. I love him incredibly deep. However, do I love him, or you, enough to offer Him as a sacrifice for someones sins if I had to? Thankfully, I don't, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I, in my selfishness, don't think that I could. I especially don't think I could offer him up knowing he would be beaten, spit upon, have nails driven in his hands and feet, mocked, and completely tortured. Nor could I give him up knowing he would be placed on the cross for everyone to see. No...I could not look upon the people who did this to my child with forgiveness right away. It would take years to truly forgive, I think. I couldn't possibly love the rest of the world right away with such an intense and burning love as I do for my child. I couldn't turn my back on him hurting and in pain. I don't know how Mary was able to endure this. I couldn't love all of these sinful, hypocritical, ungrateful, selfish, and ruthless people who claim to love me with the same love as I love my child. I couldn't love them enough to give them my only son as a sacrifice for their sins, which so many of them would be ungrateful for and would only reject. I couldn't. I couldn't look into the eyes of those who are ungrateful, knowing that they rejected the best thing that I could offer them, my ONLY son that is a bundle of energy and even attitude.

Take those same thoughts though that apply to me. That's what God did. That's what Mary endured. That's what Jesus did. For me. For you. And to think of the pain when we've rejected His gift or even when we are ungrateful for what He has done. He loves us so much that it hurts. Not only did God love us so much to give us His Son, but He loved us so much that He forgave us for what we did to Him on the cross BEFORE it even happened. My sin helped put Him on the cross. My selfishness helped put Him on the cross. My hypocritical nature helped put Him on the cross. His death and resurrection allows me the live with Him forever in Heaven when I die. It's our choice to make.

For some, it's just a grand story. For others, it's a life-altering journey full of hope and joy, even in the worst of times. For all of us, it is a choice to choose the gift God gave us or to reject it. I firmly believe in Heaven and hell. I firmly believe in God as my Savior and my Lord. It's not an easy journey and I know it's only going to be getting harder as His return approaches, but I pray that I can be more selfless and less hypocritical as I travel this journey. I pray that our children will be the same way and that they will one day make the choice to accept Christ as their Savior and to live for Him.