25 weeks

It finally hit me this week that I am, in fact, pregnant. I know, I know. It's only taken me 25 weeks to figure that out. I mean, yes, I knew I was pregnant, but I just didn't quite feel pregnant. I have been weight lifting and exercising a lot, so maybe that's the reason for the energy bursts. Who knows! All I know is that this week, after having the stomach bug last week, I feel pregnant. My belly feels huge and heavy. It doesn't help that our little girl likes to sit on my bladder. Constantly. I'll be fine and then I suddenly MUST run to the bathroom. Poor B gets yanked out of his carseat a lot!

When I finally realized I was 25 weeks (26 on Sunday), it made me a little sad. B has shown me how fast time flies. I really do like being pregnant. I'm one of those weird ones. I love feeling her kick and move inside me. I love feeling so close to her. I also, selfishly, love not sharing her and knowing about her more than anyone else right now. I know that's quite selfish, but I'm being honest. About 3 more months is all I have left of that. I'm not ready for her to be here and to start going through all the milestones again. I'm ready to hold her, but I'm not ready for her to grow up so fast. I mean, when we look back at pictures of B, Daddy T and I seriously cannot remember him being so little. I held up some newborn diapers yesterday and couldn't believe B had ever been so small. And that was only 19 months ago! There was no way he was ever 6 pounds 6 oz. or 5 pounds 12 oz. by the time we left the hospital. I mean, that's little. I'm not ready for her to come, which is good since she still needs to stay in. I'm not so sure I'll ever be ready. I wasn't ready for B to come and that was the hardest part for me after having him. I missed him inside my belly. I missed rubbing his little bottom wherever I went or touching his little feet when I sat. Sure it can get annoying at times, but he was with me constantly and I knew he was there. If I had a problematic pregnancy, perhaps I would be ready for the end. But I don't, thank the Lord, so I just want to cherish this precious gift God has given us. I mean, theoretically, you can only feel your baby inside you at so many points in your life and for so many times. I don't want to wish that away, even when I am uncomfortable. I'll just continue to run up our water bill from all of the baths I take!

Anyway, all of that to say that we are getting closer and I know these next few months are going to fly by. If I start to complain, remind me to cherish this moment and this time in my life. When I'm exhausted, please remind me of how blessed I am because deep down, I know this. I just need my family and friends to remind me at times when I'm crabby! We already love this girl so much and pray for her daily. B likes to give her kisses and she kicks when she hears Daddy T or B's voice. She also kicks B when he sits on my belly. He thinks it's funny. I just try to breathe!

I'll end today's post with a picture of our girl at 22 weeks. It's amazing the difference between the 18 week and the 22 week one. They had to do 2 because they couldn't get her spine at 18 weeks and wanted to make sure they weren't missing anything. I know there's a controversy over ultrasounds, but we usually only get one, so I didn't mind seeing her again! She actually looked like a baby at this point and was waving her individual fingers and hitting the ultrasound wand. But there she is...on my bladder...again!