February 27, 1990

Since I missed blogging on the actual birthday of my dear cousin who is with Jesus now, I felt that I still needed to write about it on my blog.  Shannon would have been 22 years old.  That's crazy!  Shannon is my dear sweet cousin who passed away just before turning 18.  I can't believe so many years have passed already.  You can see more pictures of her here.

Dear Shannon,

Not a day goes by where I don't think about you or talk about you.  For some reason, the past couple of months have made me think about you even more.  I'll see a girl at church who looks so much like you and I have an urge to go and run and hug her.  I know she's not you, but she resembles you so much.  In my therapy sessions, I've had an opportunity to talk about you to many people and share how much of a miracle you were while you were on this earth and how now you are with Jesus.  Not only that, but I've gotten to share your story so much with the parents of my children who have some kind of disability.  I love it when they ask me why I do what I do.  The answer is simply because of you.  I know I was older than you, but you taught me so much in your short life.  I'm thankful that I got to be a part of it.  You taught me to be strong, even if you're terrified.  I remember many surgeries where you would come talk to me about being afraid of dying.  You knew how serious these surgeries were and you had a right to be scared.  I remember praying with you for peace and praying for you each and every time you were hospitalized.  For the record, my baby dolls still hold their permant scar of the oxygen cord all of them wore!  You taught me how to fight for those who can't and to never look at someone as if they have no potential.  You, who should never have been up and walking according to the doctor's notes, were cruising, running, swimming, and riding horses.  You taught me to never look at someone as if their different.  I remember conversations with you where you would cry because you knew you looked different than the other kids and people would stare at you.  I remember us always telling you that God made you this way because you're absolutely special.  But that didn't ease the hurt when other kids were mean to you or treated you differently.  It didn't stop the anger when you were ignored by others just because you wore oxygen or needed to sit in a wheelchair through high school.  You were incredibly smart and just wanted others to notice your heart and your beautiful, headstrong personality.  God had a purpose for you and I know He's still using you and your story every day.  Your life still impacts many.  Your story is not over, sweet girl.  How I wish that my kids could have known you.  You would have loved them and they would have loved you.  I'm sure you would have been to New York by now if you were still here, since that was a dream of yours.  I'm ever thankful that God put you into our family and I know not a moment goes by when your parents and brother and sisters don't think about you or miss you.  There's a hole there that will never be filled.  But I'm confident we'll see you again soon.  I know you're up in Heaven worshipping the God who saw you through all of those tough times and you wouldn't come back here if you could.  You're pain free, without oxygen, no back problems, and running cord-free for the first time in your life!  I miss you and always will but I have such comfort knowing that you asked Jesus to be the Lord of your life and I'll certainly join you in Heaven one day to worship with you.  I love you and happy wonderful birthday with Jesus.  I know your parents missed you so much on that day but I also know that Jesus is a God of comfort and was there with them through every step of that day, as He has been since you've been gone.  You are loved.

Your cousin that you thought was a sister:)

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I'm sure you've noticed my absence on this blog for the past few weeks.  What have I been doing instead of informing you of the happenings in our lives?  Well, pneumonia and the flu have been visiting our house in the midst of house showings.  Talk about feeling like I couldn't possibly handle anything else.  However, God got me through it with my sanity intact and hopefully all are on the mend.

To start off, last Monday my mom came to visit since she had the day off of school.  I had planned to do something fun with the kids, but it seems like they are always sick when she comes.  I'm incredibly thankful she came that day because Baby M was really sick and I just felt like I needed to take her to the doctor.  She had the same cough that B did when he had walking pneumonia last year.  Daddy T has learned not to second guess me when it comes to the kids and sickness because I'm usually right.  Mom's intuition, I'm told.  I told him Monday morning that I was concerned about her and that I was taking her because I thought it was turning into pneumonia.  I was correct.  Her blood count was high so we she got a shot on Monday (a heavy duty shot) and Tuesday and started her antibiotics on Wednesday of last week.  The chest x-ray showed that it had gone into her right lung but I had caught it early enough that we escaped a hospital visit, thank goodness!

On Thursday, it was such a beautiful day and we needed out of the house.  Since Baby M was on the mend, I figured we'd go with a friend to the park to enjoy the 70 degree weather that has been visiting us over the past few weeks.  I missed the fact that the pollen count was really high, so both kids starting showing their asthma symptoms with the wheezing and coughs and noses.  So the yellow bear became our best friend over the past two weeks with breathing treatments.  Even Baby M's baby dolls received their treatments and naps.

Then this past Monday afternoon, B started running a low grade fever and coughing a lot.  Coughing, as in literally every couple of seconds.  I gave him a treatment hoping it would help, but it only helped a little bit.  We went through the night like that but his fever starting spiking.  So B had a visit to the doctor yesterday because he looked like a basset hound with those droopy eyes, watery eyes constantly, and coughing.  He was incredibly lethargic and just would stare at you.  The doctor was concerned about him because every test he took was negative but he said that he's almost certain he had the onset of the flu, which I wouldn't doubt because I never got him the flu shot.  Since B hadn't slept in a couple of days, the doctor gave him some strong meds that let him sleep but also helped him feel a lot better.  He woke up this morning a new kid.  I think we caught that early enough, as well, which I'm very thankful for.

Now with both kids on the mend, we're gearing up for an eventful next 2 months.  We've had wonderful news on our house and an answer to prayer, but I'm not quite ready to reveal the decisions made just yet.  But I'm so very thankful to know that God revealed His plan to me concerning our house in the SAME EXACT way in which He answered my prayer.  It was incredible and definitely NOT a coincidence.  I'm so thankful that we serve an Sovereign God who has a much better plan for us than we could ever have for ourselves.

I promise it won't take me quite as long to update next.  Perhaps the next will be filled with pictures....

Would you consider?

Would you consider something dear to my heart and to the hearts of all of my family?  Would you change the life of a child?  Or maybe 2 or 3 or however many you can?


What Compassion does:



And there's World Vision:



YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. BE UNCOMFORTBALE AND GET INVOLVED. YOU WON'T BE SORRY. I PROMISE!

What I care about

We are called.

We are all called, as followers of Christ, to be missionaries.  The question is, are you?  Listen to David share at the Convention this past year.  It was such a wonderful message and a wonderful reminder of our how our focus is on the eternal things that matter, not material things or prosperity.  Platt is on at 8 minutes so you can fast forward to that if you want to skip the introduction.
 

Radical Risk, Radical Reward

What if?

What if Chrisitans took the Bible literally?  What if those who called themselves Christians truly lived what they believed and let Christ change their lives completely instead of picking and choosing what they liked out of the Bible to live by?  What if Christians DARED to be uncomfortable for the sake of Christ?


What if Christians lived as thought the Gospel wasn't optional?  What if Christians dared to live as God has called us to live?  What if Christians were....(gasp) different and didn't long for the American dream?  What if Christians lived as if the American dream was about how much you could give away or give of ourselves for the furtherance of the Gospel?


What if the Church did less performing and more discipling?  What if the Church gave more of their time and resources outside of the Church instead of pouring it into more programs at the church?  What if the Church became the Church that Christ desired throughout the New Testament?

 

What if we get out of our comfort zones and live as Christ as called us to live?  What if?

The reward

Last weekend, we decided to take the kids to the Melting Pot for a Valentine's dessert.  We knew they would never make it through a dinner there, but we figured that dessert was fast and cheap and something different since they got to use the dippers.  We learned that was the longest they would sit there and the chocolate had absolutely no effect on them when it came to naps! 

Baby M started fussing so I took her out to the van while Daddy T and B stayed to pay for the food.  The following conversation took place between the 2 of them and I thought it was wonderful.  Bear in mind that the Melting Pot is a semi-quiet place and B's whisper isn't really a whisper, especially when he has a pressing question that he really needs an answer to.

B: Daddy, what's that?

Daddy T: It's wine.

B: What's wine?

Daddy T: A specialty drink.

B: Oh.  You mean you get it when you go poop?

Daddy T: (a little unsure of what to say) Yes, but only when you reach a certain age.

*I can only imagine the faces of those in the vicinity of our son who were overhearing this conversation!

The day I had

So Baby M has run a low-grade fever for the past 2 days.  B has picked up the habit of whining since I think he hasn't gotten as much attention since Baby M needs a bit more at this moment.  With that said, I thought that I was about to lose my mind today!  Daddy T came home and rescued me quickly so that I could have a few minutes of quiet. 

Today was the day that neither child could play with each other or by themselves.  This means that they had to follow me around all day.  The whining got so bad by dinner that I stuck Baby M in the crib (which she thoroughly hates), put B in his room, and turned up my music so incredibly loud that I couldn't hear any crying or talking.  I then preceded to cry because I felt so bad for letting Baby M cry but I was at the end.  I felt like I had nothing like to give.  I needed to be recharged.  I cried.  I prayed.  A miracle didn't happen, but at the end of the night when we were praying in bed, B leaned over and said "Mommy, I'm sorry for disobeying so much.  I love you."  At least my night ended well and I can finally hear my thoughts that are roaming around in my head.  The problem is that I'm too tired to process what my thoughts are!  I just know that I am now sitting and enjoying this moment.

Submission

Submission. What thoughts do you have when you hear that word mentioned? Is it that of someone with no backbone or who has no will? Perhaps it's someone who is weak and gets run over by others. Is submission something that you desire or something that repulses you?

For me and my marriage, submission is not something that I run away from or hate. It's something that I love and that I embrace. I like submission. Is it easy? No. Is it called of me to do by God? Yes. I'm thankful that my husband also knows and understands the word submission and he always takes my opinions and thoughts into consideration, prays over it and seeks counsel when he needs to, and then comes to a final decision. I know that the final decision was made with lots of thoughts and prayer.

John Piper says it best in his book The Momentary Marriage when he says what submission is not:

• It is not agreeing with everything my husband says.
• It does not mean leaving my brain or will at the wedding altar.
• It does not mean every effort to avoid changing my husband.
• It does not mean putting the will of my husband above the will of Christ.
• It does not mean that I get my personal/spiritual strength primarily through my husband.
• It does not mean that I act out of fear.

What Piper says submission is: "Submission is the divine calling of a wife to love and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts." This is the submission I embrace in my walk with Christ and in my walk with my husband.