February 27, 1990

Since I missed blogging on the actual birthday of my dear cousin who is with Jesus now, I felt that I still needed to write about it on my blog.  Shannon would have been 22 years old.  That's crazy!  Shannon is my dear sweet cousin who passed away just before turning 18.  I can't believe so many years have passed already.  You can see more pictures of her here.

Dear Shannon,

Not a day goes by where I don't think about you or talk about you.  For some reason, the past couple of months have made me think about you even more.  I'll see a girl at church who looks so much like you and I have an urge to go and run and hug her.  I know she's not you, but she resembles you so much.  In my therapy sessions, I've had an opportunity to talk about you to many people and share how much of a miracle you were while you were on this earth and how now you are with Jesus.  Not only that, but I've gotten to share your story so much with the parents of my children who have some kind of disability.  I love it when they ask me why I do what I do.  The answer is simply because of you.  I know I was older than you, but you taught me so much in your short life.  I'm thankful that I got to be a part of it.  You taught me to be strong, even if you're terrified.  I remember many surgeries where you would come talk to me about being afraid of dying.  You knew how serious these surgeries were and you had a right to be scared.  I remember praying with you for peace and praying for you each and every time you were hospitalized.  For the record, my baby dolls still hold their permant scar of the oxygen cord all of them wore!  You taught me how to fight for those who can't and to never look at someone as if they have no potential.  You, who should never have been up and walking according to the doctor's notes, were cruising, running, swimming, and riding horses.  You taught me to never look at someone as if their different.  I remember conversations with you where you would cry because you knew you looked different than the other kids and people would stare at you.  I remember us always telling you that God made you this way because you're absolutely special.  But that didn't ease the hurt when other kids were mean to you or treated you differently.  It didn't stop the anger when you were ignored by others just because you wore oxygen or needed to sit in a wheelchair through high school.  You were incredibly smart and just wanted others to notice your heart and your beautiful, headstrong personality.  God had a purpose for you and I know He's still using you and your story every day.  Your life still impacts many.  Your story is not over, sweet girl.  How I wish that my kids could have known you.  You would have loved them and they would have loved you.  I'm sure you would have been to New York by now if you were still here, since that was a dream of yours.  I'm ever thankful that God put you into our family and I know not a moment goes by when your parents and brother and sisters don't think about you or miss you.  There's a hole there that will never be filled.  But I'm confident we'll see you again soon.  I know you're up in Heaven worshipping the God who saw you through all of those tough times and you wouldn't come back here if you could.  You're pain free, without oxygen, no back problems, and running cord-free for the first time in your life!  I miss you and always will but I have such comfort knowing that you asked Jesus to be the Lord of your life and I'll certainly join you in Heaven one day to worship with you.  I love you and happy wonderful birthday with Jesus.  I know your parents missed you so much on that day but I also know that Jesus is a God of comfort and was there with them through every step of that day, as He has been since you've been gone.  You are loved.

Your cousin that you thought was a sister:)