Goodbye 1st trimester!!!

What a great day today!!!! I had my doctor's appointment and there was no blood work, no stabbing, and no getting undressed! It was the greatest day! Oh...and to top it off, we heard our baby's heart. It was the coolest thing ever. I had to have a full bladder (which I forgot about until I got there, so I drank lots of water in 30 minutes). She put the doppler on my lower right side of my belly and there was the baby's heart beat. It was so clear and was beating a good 166 bpm. I held my tears in until I went to the bathroom and then I cried. I just couldn't believe that God was blessing us with this little life. I mean, there really is a baby inside me that I'm providing life and nourishment to. It definitely made it more real and made me feel closer to it, since I can't feel it move, yet. But not too much longer until I get to feel the movement! Raun said that he couldn't help but smile when he heard the heart and that it made it more real for him, as well. I know I'll cry when I actually see the baby for the first time in in a few weeks...around 18-22 weeks.

I'm loving being pregnant now. There's just so many new and constant things to adjust to, but once I figure them out, I'm okay. The nausea is getting better and I'm eating more foods. I've cooked more, but we have to eat earlier than normal because I will get extremely sick if I don't.

I've been working on my college scrapbook--I've got so much to hurry and scrapbook so I can be caught up for my baby's book in 2 months! Raun's bought the first stage of hardware to work on downstairs. In a month or two, Dad and Raun are going to be lifting and building the walls and since I can't help, I'll cook while Mom paints! I promised that after the baby, I'll help her paint her house.

We're going to Manchester this weekend to see the family. We're going to see Aunt Patricia and Uncle Ray and the kiddos on Friday night. I've got to chase them around a bit and make sure their being nice to each other! I love hanging out with all of them. I'm planning on going to the cemetary, as well, to see Shannon's headstone. I can't believe her birthday is on Thursday. It's going to be so weird to not call her and hear her list of birthday presents and hear all about her party. I miss her so much and some days, I still struggle with the fact that she should be here. Especially now that I'm pregnant, because that's what she couldn't wait for. I wish, more than anything, that she could be here to hold our baby and babysit. She was so great with children!

We'll hang out with Mom and Dad for the weekend and I've put in my order for my Dad to cook steaks. I'm craving steaks, much to my family's delight! We're actually having it tonight, too...even thought it's raining! Raun could care less because he gets his red meat!

We have a birthday/going away party for my friend's husband, Josh and Nessa. Nessa's not going anywhere, but Josh is being deployed to Afghanistan for 15 months in March, so a bunch of their friends are coming to give him a huge party. I can't wait to see all of our college friends and to hang out with Jen and Nessa for a little while. We've got a lot of planning for our girl's trip to do!

Well...I think that catches everyone up-to-date. Not too much longer until I get my baby bump!

11 weeks....

Only one more week left until we get to hear our baby's heartbeat! I can't wait! This past week has been gradually getting better for me. I've been able to clean and cook a few things. Standing up for longer than 5 minutes isn't making me feel sick anymore, so that's good. I made my ever healthy oven fried chicken, and topped it off with green beans. It's Raun's day to cook today since I don't get home until around 8:00, but I'll try again tomorrow. It feels so good to be eating healthy again.

I'm still working out and it feels so wonderful. It feels weird to run (don't worry...I don't do it for more than 10 minutes and I got an okay from my doctor) because I can feel things bouncing. It's such a huge stress reliever and it helps me not to feel so sick. I've done slight weights, but nothing like I used to do. That's just another something for me to look forward to a few months after the baby's born.

Work has been fairly interesting. At my Knoxville place, we had to place an emergency letter to a judge on a particular boy who is 19. He offended apparently a few days before turning 18, so we have the joy of having him. He's a nightmare. He is so inappropriate and likes to talk and do inappropriate things. Yesterday topped it off because he had carried his IPOD into the session (which he wasn't allowed to have). I documented it and showed it to the principal and they took it away. But from then on, he threatened to put a pencil in my eye, hurt me, and constantly tries to walk behind me, stand behind me, or grab my legs. The scary thing is that we keep telling the judge he'll reoffend or kill someone if they don't put him in prison, but the judge is still thinking of letting him on the streets. We put in a stalker form yesterday as a protection for me, as well as 6 other Sexual harrassment forms that we are hoping will sway the judge. He needs some prison experience and let them whip his butt into shape...if they don't kill him first for being a sexual predator. He's very antisocial, which is you typical serial killers. He's awful. He's the first one I've come around (and I come around many and far worse, like gang members, etc.) that I feel so uncomfortable. I haven't told them that I am pregnant yet because I want to wait until we go to the doctor and my risk for miscarriage drops, so I'll tell them in 2 weeks. I think after that, the principal will forbid him to come near me without one-on-one protection. For the most part, they are fun and I know that if anything were to happen, the boys would protect me, since they all hate the one boy. I love my work, despite it's risks, because we're influencing lives. I actually have some boys in my forensic unit (they are court-ordered there for 30 days for committing crimes and to see how they should stand trial) who want to completely change their lives. We've been making goals and one has really taken a lot of heat from another black peer because he thinks that this particular black peer wants to do "white man's work" since he wants to go to college. We've been trying to impress upon the other guy that just because he's from what he calls "the hood" that he can still go to college and make something of himself and that getting a real job isn't "white man's work." We'll see if we make any difference on him. I did get him to come to the realization of all that it had cost him for the crime he committed and he did say he wouldn't have done it if he could do things over. Slight progress!

I had my meeting at the Alzheimer's unit on Monday and we're set to start working with them on next Friday. I'm so excited! I got a chance to talk to some of them, and I can't wait to find out their stories and to get the to have a purpose in life. I'm making a stop by one gentleman's room during the last 5-10 minutes to ease the pain of his passing away. He is quickly deteriorating, but he loves music. Hopefully just singing to him will relax him and help him to not be so scared. The family is a Christian family and are so excited that I'm coming! There's one lady there whose husband was a fighter pilot for Hitler. She's from Germany, but doesn't speak German or English to anyone. She just likes to touch you or sleep. What a story that would be if she could only tell it! I have my challenges, but it's going to lead to some enormous possibilities with other facilities and within the one I'm working at. The doctors and nurses are even on board with it and are willing to write prescriptions for it for their patients! Have I mentioned that I absolutely love my work and I am so happy that Raun allows me to do what I love and has been so patient as it keeps growing and growing. I mean, my work doesn't even feel like work....well, that is, until I have to do paperwork!

I'll write more after we hear the heartbeat next Thursday!

10 weeks....

This guy was asleep and we thought it was funny! This picture is for you, Papa!

What a week! I'm not for sure what else to say, except that. I ended up having another sinus issue last week, which was not fun. I've been drinking more orange juice, though, thanks to Raun's mom's suggestion. It seems to be working because it's getting better!

We went to Altanta to see my brother and Molly this weekend. It was a lot of fun. We went to two of our favorite stores, BrandsMart and Ikea (I really wanted my Swedish chocolate and bought Heather's wedding presents). We also went to the Coke Museum, which was pretty neat. We got to see coke being made and filled into glass bottles. At the end of the tour, you get to taste coke products from all around the world. The machines were divided into all the different areas within the country. We liked a lot of African products (but not the north African products) and some Asian. Latin America was pretty good, as well! However, at the end, we had nothing but American coke. Everyone was flocking to that machine to get out the bad taste in their mouths from certain countries! After that, we went to Atlantic Station. It was so neat. It was basically a city within a city. They had stores everywhere and it was so incredibly beautiful. I have never seen anything like it. We ate at the FOX Sports Grill. It was pretty good. We even got a $5 certificate to go back. We topped the night off by going to Cold Stone Creamery. I think that our next trip to Atlanta is going to include the aquarium. It's supposed to be one of the largest in the world. It's huge! I love John living in Atlanta because there's so much to see and do!

Work is going good. God never ceases to amaze me! I had been praying about whether to take on any more clients since I wasn't for sure how long I could work with them when the baby comes, so I haven't called anywhere. However, I had specifically been praying about working with dementia/geriatric patients, but never did anything towards that goal. One morning I checked my email and I had an email from an Alzheimer's facility about 15 miles from our house (still in Chattanooga!) about working with their patients. I was thrilled! So, I'm taking it on because I absolutely love anything dealing with the brain and the neurological part. Alzheimer's is so fascinating to me because music therapy gives them so many times of lucidity and opportunities for their families to share in those moments with them. It's so incredibly rewarding! As long as you get out of the way of the purses they like to swing at you!

My autistic kids are doing well. They are really improving and speaking voluntarily now. They aren't saying huge responses, but I can ask "how are you" in our hello song and they respond with "fine" or "good." It's just awesome experiences to watch them progress so much in such a short time. I am working with a summer camp that is tailored specifically to children with special needs at our gym. I am currently working there with a group now and get a free membership (which is well worth the deal).

We woke up this morning to some really bad storms. We have a lot of limbs down and a nice stream flowing at the bottom of the woods, but nothing bad. It was so sad to see the houses in Memphis and Jackson and to see Union's dorms. Several of my friends had gone there and Ness and I had actually stayed there for some of our Spring Break one year. It was weird to look at all of the damage because tornados always remind me of the tornado that hit Aunt Patricia and Uncle Ray's house. It broke my heart to heart to hear of all the deaths from this storm. I definitely don't take tornados lightly after seeing one and then seeing the damage that comes from it. They're crazy looking! Anyway, enough of that!

The nausea seems to be lessening some. It's still hard to stand up for a long time and I get light-headed quiet a bit when I do stand up for more than 5 minutes without moving. It was hard to stand in line to vote, but I knew I had to do it! Only 2 more weeks until we hear the baby's heartbeat. Time is flying by! It's weird how monthly doctor appointments makes your month disappear so quickly. I kinda want time to slow down a bit so we can get everything done. Our baby's almost developed. All that's left if the details and weight gain! One of our friends have been so great and is taking me to some consignment sales to get more maternity clothes and some of the baby items. I'm excited! We bought our crib a few weeks ago because they only had 5 left. It's a 3-1 bed that grows with them until they are ready for a full-size bed. It's beautiful and I'll post pictures when we actually get it put up, which won't be until the basement is finished out!

Well, gotta get back to work. Have a great day!

9 weeks!

Okay, so I had a friend who kept everyone updated on her pregnancy by weeks and it was really neat to read, so I thought that I just might do the same. I am now officially 9 weeks along and these past 2 days have been great! Raun has been so good and he gets up to fix me breakfast before I have to get out of bed. Then I take my vitamin (which helps with nausea) and I put on these sea bands and I'm okay. The sea bands are incredibly awesome! Somehow they apply pressure to your pressure points and it makes the nausea go away. They work not only for morning sickness, but for motions sickness and other things that make you want to run for the bathroom! It has worked wonders. I'm in the awkward stage now where I haven't gained weight, but things are expanding so it's not as comfortable to wear my normal clothes, but I don't have a big enough belly for maternity clothes. As much as I hate to gain weight, I'd rather gain it than loose it so that my clothes would actually fit! We did buy one pair of maternity pants two weekends ago, but I have about an inch to grow into.

I've still been able to exercise. I'm finding that I'm incredibly hungry now. I usually have to stop the tredmill after about 30 minutes and eat some peanut butter and crackers, then I'm good to go for another 30 minutes. My doctor told me that I could still do some minor weights, as long as it didn't risk falling on the baby, so I have been toning up my legs and will hopefully hit some arms tonight. Since labor is technically a marathon, I feel that the better in shape I am before and during, then the better off I am.

Everyone's been asking about food cravings: I haven't craved anything bad, yet. I've been craving fruits, vegetables, and yes, pickles (or anything kind of sour). I do love my mashed potatoes, though. I hope that this stays with me. I worked really hard before I got pregnant to eat healthy and be at a healthy weight so I'm hoping this will benefit me during the pregnancy. I'm okay with gaining a healthy amount of weight as long as I'm eating healthy!

We went to a family reunion/50th anniversary party for Raun's great aunt or cousin (I can't remember which) this weekend, but my keen sense of smell helped out a lot. Papa, I didn't even have to look at the table to know what was on it. I could smell the little weenies and the chips and dip as soon as I entered the door. This sense of smell kills Raun because now when he eats certain foods, he is required to leave me or I leave him or else it could end in a bathroom run!

Work was great today. My boys for the most part behaved. I still have the attitudes and the cussing and the fights, but slowly they are growing to respect me. It's so funny to watch the boys cuss me out and say they're not participating and then they walk right by me, refusing to look me in the eye out of embarrassment and sit in the drum circle. It takes all I have not to laugh!

Well....that's all for now. I've gotta clean before Raun gets home!

Last week's snow day!

We went to church on Wednesday night and while I was teaching my choir kids, it began snowing. Good thing we were having our pizza party because I would have lost them all to the window! By the time orchestra rehearsal let out, this is what we saw. By morning, the roads had all cleared and it was so cold that I wasn't able to get outside for a good picture. Schools were out, which was great!

We missed the ice on Tuesday of this week, but I most certainly hit it in Knoxville. They had over 250 wrecks between 8:00 and 10:00 a.m. Many rescue workers had gotten in wrecks, as well. Even the salt truck turned over! I don't think that I went over 20 mph because of the black ice. A lot of the teachers couldn't make it in, so I got paid to read all morning. How awesome is that! Then after lunch, we got the boys. They really didn't want to come to the school floor and let us know. We had so many fights and aggressive behaviors that by the last session, I quit 30 minutes into it and told them to sit down and don't talk. Of course, the other ones got restrained, but a select few felt like following directions that day. Needless to say, those 2 hours felt like an entire day! I'm not so sure I want to go back on Tuesday! I did have one boy almost beat another boy up for being disrespectful to me and cussing at me. In a way it was kinda sweet, but I had to talk with him about showing respect to others and optional ways to handle the situation. Never a dull moment at my facilities, that's for sure!

I've been feeling okay this past week. I still can't cook or anything, but the nausea vitamin that my doctor gave me seems to be working. I'm so glad because there's nothing worse than spending weeks not holding things down! We're working on finishing the basement out and we enlisted the help of Dad to help put up the walls and to build three walls for the bathroom and the laundry room. It'll look really good when it's finished!

We're going to a family reunion on Raun's side of the family on Sunday. It's been a while since I've been to a family reunion, so it'll be fun. I hope the smells don't send me running, though! I'll make sure to take my vitamin that day and possible invest in the sea band before then! It'll be fun to meet all of his family, though.

2008!

Wow! I can't believe we're already into 2008....a whole new chapter in our lives....another year full of unpredicted changes. Things have been good here. I've been battling a sinus issue, which has been lots of fun and then passed it to Raun, and he so graciously passed it back to me. I think that's a little unfair, if you ask me!

Work is going well...getting used to seeing all of my kiddos since I've been off for 2 weeks. It's good to be back in some sort of routine, though.

I wanted to post some pictures of New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Enjoy! I'll post Christmas a little bit later.

Love you guys!

Last day in 2007

I can't believe how fast the time has gone by....I feel like we just said goodbye to 2006 and now here we are at the end of 2007. What a year. So much has happened this year that has changed my life. I can honestly say that things will never be the same.

We're having my parents, brother, Molly, my mother-in-law, and the Hancock family over for games tonight and snacks. I'm really excited to spend time with people that love to laugh. I'll be sure to post on that in the next days.

2008 is going to be a brand new year with many more changes. Have a great New Year's Eve!

2007 Family Christmas

I hope that you guys had a great Christmas! We had a wonderful one. We spent the weekend with my parents in Manchester and I got to see Heather and her family, which was great. They cooked a huge breakfast for us and I got to see her baby neice, that looks just like her brother. We had our traditional family Christmas dinner with Ma, Mama, and Mom's side of the family. It's always fun to get together with them...it's never boring, I can honestly say!

We went to our Christmas Eve service at church, which was wonderful. There's just something about taking the Lord's Supper before Christmas...it just reminds you that Christmas isn't all about presents...it's about Jesus and his birth and all that He's done and will continue to do for us. I love our church and all of the wonderful people and mentors that are there.

Mom, Dad, and John came up on Christmas Eve and we invited Raun's parents over to eat dinner. We made a Thai stir-fry, complete with egg rolls. It was really good and filling. To top it off, we had dessert of caramel popcorn, cheesecake, and gingerbread men. We played games well into the night and we learned that Mom would make it well in Vegas.

It was great to wake up with my family still here. It made it more fun to have other people here, instead of just me and Raun. We made a big breakfast and then opened presents. John did the honor of reading the Christmas story this year, which is always enjoyable. And yes, we even watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation...a yearly tradition.

Raun and I left to go in the afternoon to go spend Christmas dinner with Raun's family. It was great to see everyone and to play the family games. I realized that I'm not so good at games when I'm tired, though. I have a very small window of opportunity after 7:00 p.m. We got to see all of the nephews and our neice, which was fun because they liked to make fun of their great-grandma's....until we reminded them that they are going to be like that one day! They are so much fun to be with!

I think New Year's will be spent at our house and we're going to have our New Year's Eve party here. Everyon's supposed to be coming back and I think that we're going to meet my parents in Atlanta on Saturday to spend the day shopping and visiting. I also have to see John's new television, since we haven't seen it yet! Happy New Year!

8 days until Christmas!

I can't believe that it's only 8 days left until Christmas. I'm still not ready. Maybe it will be better this week....we'll see! We had our Christmas concert at church yesterday and it was wonderful. My parents and Raun's mom both came with us. It's meant so much to me that they came. Dad even stepped foot in the mall afterwards and we got some Christmas shopping done. It was just like the old days....but we missed John. Dad even treated us to our favorite place...Baskin Robbins. They have a new Heath bar Shake now and it was very good.

Our Christmas destination has been decided. Mom, Dad, and John are having it at our house for Christmas Eve and Christmas and possibly even New Year's Eve and New Year's. I'm very excited about that! I love having my family here with us. I get to cook some new and even healthy recipes....it's gonna be great!

I absolutely love my job. As I mentioned in the post earlier, I am teaching children with special needs, as well as typical kids, through the School of Music at our church. I love it! After our concert, one of my piano boys (with Down Syndrome) came up to me and gave me a hug and a kiss! He's 6 1/2 and had battled a rare form of leukemia. He reminds me so much of Shannon because he is a fighter as well. He had chemo until he was 2 years old. He's now in remission, and they're just hoping it doesn't come back. He's so precious and smart. He loved my bassoon and told me he wanted to learn to play "Jingle Bells!" So we shall learn that for him. His grandpa is a classical pianist and is thrilled that he and his grandson can share this love of music together. I am so thankful that I have a job where I can make a difference in people's lives and where I can help what seems like the impossible become possible!

If you would like to check out my work website, feel free! It's http://www.musictherapynetworkoftn.com/.

Happy Christmas shopping!

Ahhhh!!!!

It was definitely a rough day today. One of my boys punched his therapist in the nose and broke it. I really and honestly hope that he gets transfered to jail because he would be someone that would both reoffend and hurt others. He has absolutely no remorse for what he's done but the system thinks that he is too MR to stand trial. He so knows what he did and he also knows the difference between right and wrong. He also knows that he can get away with it in the system. How are you supposed to work with them if they are constantly endangering myself and others? I love working with my boys and girls, but at times it's so hard to remember why we do what we do and why we constantly keep going back after being disrespected so much.

John called me during my lunch break just to talk and I told him to make sure to pray for me this afternoon because I just knew it was going to be bad. Sure enough, during my last session the principal came in and told me that one of their case managers (who is in her 20's, early 30's and is sweet) died today after a kidney problem. She had had surgery and it was okay and was sent home, but was admitted to ICU today and died around noon. The case managers and therapists were standing outside the school doors to talk with each of them after the news was told to the boys. I just pray that this helps them to change. We actually talked about our dreams during our session and it was neat to show them that many dreams can be attained if they really want it.

My little boy with autism regressed a little today. Hopefully he will have a wonderful week next week. He did say 4 colors for the first time, so it wasn't a bad session!

It's been almost two weeks since Shannon passed away and let me just say that it has been the longest 2 weeks ever. I am not really feeling in the Christmas spirit. I thought that if our Christmas tree was up then I would feel in the spirit....but it only serves to remind me why I'm celebrating (which is good) and that Shannon should be here to enjoy this holiday and to make a Christmas list. I think I'm slowly coming out of the denial stage and am waking up to reality. I don't like reality, so I may choose to stay in denial a little while longer! I see her in all my kids....I'm now working with special needs children and teaching them piano and guitar lessons at church and there's a girl who always looks like Shannon from the back....so I like to look at her!

Anyway, that's life in a nutshell over the past week.....