Words cannot really capture the feelings I have had in my heart the past couple of days. I've talked a lot about the sick babies that I know or their blogs that I have read. There is one in particular...the one with the picture on the side of my blog, name Stellan. You can either click on the picture or click here to go to their blog. Their baby is facing heart failure. 4 months of age, never supposed to live, and God worked a miracle. I find myself wondering why I had a healthy pregnancy, why I have a healthy baby (so far), and why I'm not going through what they have. Not that I want that, mind you. It's just that I've been so thankful this week that even though my family is sick, they don't have any of these illnesses or diseases or problems that so many people face. I think that is what has helped me have patience this week with my boys, despite the fact that I'm exhausted. I pray that I never have to go through any of these things. I can't imagine the pain a mother feels while watching their child suffer and having to demand for things to be done to their child. I can't even look at the pictures on Stellan's blog because he looks so peaceful and I can see Blake in him. Not that he's a look alike or anything...I just see my baby. I think God is really pressing on me the desire I have always had...to work with terminally patients. I'm a little fearful because now that I have Blake I wonder how paranoid it will make me. However, on the flip side, it will also make me more grateful and thankful. I know God's moving in my heart and is working on something, but I'm also not in the place to pursue it, yet. At least I don't think so. However, if God says go, then I must go. I would love to work with the hospice here but target specifically on children. Not that adults aren't worth it, too. It's just that's not my passion. God's shaped my heart since Shannon and my passion and desire is definitely children, terminally ill, and disabled. Please pray for me to know what God wants to do and when He wants me to do it. I don't want to miss a wonderful opportunity.
Must go...got a crying baby that just woke up from a nap! By the way, Raun now has bronchitis on top of the sinus infection.
Friday, March 27, 2009
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2 comments:
I work with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, a non-profit organization that has photographers that volunteer their time to do photography for families. It may sound crazy, but doing those sessions gives me a perspective of peace in the midst of the turmoil of emotions the family must be feeling. It makes me so very thankful for all I've been blessed with, even on the hardest days. I don't think you're crazy at all. And I bet hospice would love to have your services in their program.
I've followed MckMama's blog for quite a while now and my heart goes out to their family. Stellan is truely a miracle and a fighter. I went to school and graduated with your brother, and found your blog through Kim (Mathis) Brooks. I think your son is so precious. I hope everyone is virus free and healthy. :)
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